There’s a moment — usually early morning, before the day starts grabbing at you — when you look at your partner and realise just how much strength they carry around without ever calling it strength.
For me, that moment happens almost every day now.
Menopause isn’t some neat checklist of “symptoms.” It’s a whole unpredictable ecosystem: sleep that abandons her, energy that comes, a body that changes its rules without warning, and emotions that sometimes feel like they’re firing from a different control room. And yet, my wife still does what she’s always done — she shows up.
She leads. She solves problems. She carries the mental load most people never see. She keeps her career on track. She looks after everyone else even when her own tank is running on fumes.
That’s what remarkable looks like.
And here's the thing men don’t talk about enough: being the partner watching it all happen is a lesson in humility. You can’t fix this. You can’t “logic” it away. You can’t offer one motivational speech and solve hormones that are basically staging a revolution.
What you can do is show up too.
You pay attention.
You read the room.
You ask what she needs instead of assuming.
You take some of the weight off quietly, without making it a big production.
You let her know you see her — really see her — even on the days she doesn’t feel like herself.
Because menopause isn’t just her journey. The relationship goes through it too. And if you choose to walk through it together, not against each other, something powerful happens:
you become a team again.
More men need to step up with empathy rather than ego. Not because women are fragile — far from it — but because supporting someone you love through a massive life shift shouldn’t be seen as optional.
My wife is navigating one of the toughest biological transitions a person can go through, and she’s still smashing it professionally, emotionally, and personally. She’ll probably roll her eyes when she reads this — because that’s her — but she deserves the recognition.
So if you’re a man living with menopause in your household, here’s my straight-up advice:
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Don’t minimise it.
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Don’t make jokes to deflect your discomfort.
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Don’t disappear into work or hobbies.
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Stay present. Stay curious. Stay supportive.
You might be surprised how much stronger your relationship becomes when you meet her where she is instead of where you think she “should” be.
Menopause isn’t easy — not for her, not for you, and not for the relationship.
But watching my wife navigate it with grit, humour, resilience, and raw determination?
That’s beyond remarkable.
And I’m proud of her every single day.
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