— Tales from the Shave Chair
Let’s be honest, chaps — when it comes to menopause, most of us didn’t get the memo.
We got puberty talks at school.
We got “the birds and the bees” talk from Dad (painfully awkward).
But menopause? Not a whisper.
So when our wives, partners, and best mates start changing — physically, mentally, emotionally — we stand there like someone’s just handed us IKEA instructions in Swedish.
Here’s the truth from the shave chair, where the stories are real, the advice is unfiltered, and the tea’s always hot (because the women in our lives are always cold).
1. It’s Not Just About Hot Flushes
Everyone bangs on about hot flushes, but that’s just one chapter of a very long book.
Some women feel freezing.
Some get insomnia, brain fog, mood swings, and random bursts of tears at the sight of a puppy advert.
Some lose confidence.
And many feel like they’ve “lost themselves” for a bit — even though the woman you love is still right there underneath it all.
You can’t fix it with logic. You fix it by showing up — quietly, consistently, kindly.
2. Your Sense of Humour Is Now a Survival Tool
If you can make her laugh when the world feels upside down, you’ve already won half the battle.
But — and this is crucial — know the difference between laughing with and laughing at.
Timing, my friend, is everything.
One of my clients said,
“I made a joke about her hot flushes. She didn’t laugh. She threw my toast at me.”
He’s since learned to keep the jokes warm, not hot.
3. You Will Become a Thermostat Technician
Forget football stats — your new area of expertise will be temperature management.
You’ll find yourself adjusting heating, blankets, and windows like you’re working mission control at NASA.
And you’ll never get it right.
But here’s the thing — don’t argue about it. Just adapt.
Comfort is king, and sometimes that means you’re sleeping under a single sheet while she’s got the electric blanket on high and a hot water bottle named Geraldine on standby.
4. It’s Not All in Her Head — It’s in Her Hormones
I’ve lost count of how many blokes have told me,
“She’s not herself lately.”
Well — she is herself. Just… under construction.
Hormones aren’t imaginary. They control mood, sleep, energy, and just about everything else.
When they crash, it’s like someone’s pulled the plug on her system — and she’s trying to reboot without the manual.
So if she’s forgetful, short-tempered, or just distant, don’t take it personally.
Take it as your cue to listen, not lecture.
5. HRT Isn’t a Band — It’s a Lifeline
We’ve covered this one in “From the Shave Chair,” but it’s worth repeating.
HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) can change lives. It’s not about vanity or weakness — it’s about giving her body the balance it’s lost.
Encourage the conversation. Be her teammate, not her critic.
A lot of women struggle in silence because they’re scared of being dismissed or judged.
You can be the difference between her coping… and her crumbling.
6. It’s Temporary — But the Way You Handle It Isn’t
Menopause is a phase, but how you treat her during it will echo long after it’s passed.
She’ll remember who stood by her, who made her tea without being asked, and who held her when she didn’t have the words to explain what was wrong.
Marriage isn’t built in the easy seasons.
It’s built in the moments when you say, “I don’t understand it, but I’m here.”
Final Trim
Menopause doesn’t just change her — it changes both of you.
It can test your patience, your sense of humour, even your thermostat bill.
But it also deepens your love — if you let it.
So talk. Laugh. Learn.
And when in doubt, just ask her one simple thing:
“What do you need right now, love?”
Nine times out of ten, the answer’s a cuppa and a cuddle.
The tenth time?
It’s silence — and the blanket back.
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